


You're Still a Part of Me

by PrincessStark



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: M/M, the death of captain america
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessStark/pseuds/PrincessStark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was inspired to write this after reading The Death of Captain America. There is m/m pairings, but this is probably one of the most G-rated stories I have EVER written! Even if you don't like, I'd still read! It's adorable! Read and Review! One Shot!</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Still a Part of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I hate writing author's notes, but it seems like I've been doing a whole lot more of it lately. This story is kind of a mix between the compilation of Captain America and Winter Soldier comics that make up The Death of Captain America and the Marvel Movie Universe, since it's what I know the most. Steve is dead. Sharon killed him. She gave birth to his child. Read on.

Tony laid in bed with his lover, head rested on his chest, missing the only person he'd ever really loved. He'd been gone for several years now, but that didn't mean he didn't still love the man who had been his childhood hero and who, because this world is just funny like that, happened to be frozen in an ice cap for 70 years, and just happened to become part of the superhero team Tony had not wanted anything to do with.

But it was being a part of that team, and being able to really get to know the man who his father had held above all others, that he had met the one person he would love more than any other in his life. Love wasn't something Tony did. It wasn't something he liked doing. He had gone through too much in his life to really open up to anyone, but he found, once they got past their issues after first meeting, Steve was the one person he could really open up to. More than Rhodey and more than Pepper.

He had tried to have a relationship with Pepper, but it just hadn't been meant to be. She couldn't live with him being a superhero, and he couldn't go on keeping his true feelings for his best friend from her. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't fair to them. So he let her go. He couldn't let his feelings go. But telling him was another story. How did you tell your best friend, a man who had grown up in a time where loving another man was considered a reason to be institutionalized, that you're in love with him?

Everyone could see how the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, mechanic felt about the Captain. Even Captain could see it. Everyone could tell Steve loved Tony in turn, except for Tony. It took Bruce, being the really good friend he is, despite how much he loved Tony himself, to tell Tony what the Captain felt for him. It had hurt Bruce to tell him to make his move, but if he and Tony weren't going to be together, the least Bruce could do was make sure Tony was happy.

And he was. Telling Steve how he felt was the best thing he could have ever done. Of course, even in that day and age, they couldn't reveal their romance to the world. The only people who knew about it were their close friends and coworkers, the other Avengers. Over time, a few other of their friends, other superheroes knew as well, but it was widely kept secret. Steve forged a heterosexual relationship with SHIELD Agent 13, Sharon Carter, Peggy Carter's niece, but Tony remained single... something that was a shock to everyone. If he couldn't be with Steve in the open, why couldn't he keep up the lifestyle he lead before? He just couldn't. Loving Steve had changed him.

Enter the Superhuman Registration Act.

When the act went into effect, and he and Steve were on different sides of the conflict, it had been especially hard on each of them. All throughout the conflict they had met in secret, if only for brief moments to be with each other. They didn't try to convince the other in these sacred times they spent together, they only were there to be with each other. They saved the fighting for the battlefield. Their secret rendezvous were the only thing that kept either of them sane.

And when Captain America surrendered to Tony and the registration, they both knew the war would finally be over. But it wasn't even Steve's submission that ended the war... It was Steve's death that had truly ended it. Tony can still remember those horrific days as if they happened last week. Sharon had been brainwashed and killed the man both of them loved. It was because of that, when she found out she was pregnant with Steve's child, she knew she couldn't raise it. She made the best choice she could for the child she carried: she left the newborn at the SHIELD infirmary with a note written to Tony, telling him he should raise Steve's child.

She didn't know about him and Steve, and she never would, but she knew Tony was Steve's best friend. She knew if anyone in this world would take care of the baby the way Steve would, or the best they could for Steve, it would be Tony. He had cleaned himself up with Steve's help, no more drinking, no more sleeping around, and that's what told Sharon she could leave Steve's child with him. She knew that him, above everyone else, would raise Steve's child in a way that would have made Steve proud.

Tony hadn't ever wanted to have children. He especially hadn't cared to have any after he and Steve were together. They especially weren't going to adopt children together, even is if this world was somehow able to become more tolerant and accepting of same sex relationships. And neither of them could carry or give birth to a child, so it was something Tony didn't care not to have in his life. But then Steve's child was left in his lap and he did what his best friend and soulmate would have wanted, he raised the child on his own.

To say it had been easy would have been taking it way too far. He knew nothing about girls. He was a man, after all. It would have been easier if Sharon had given birth to a boy. At least he would have known something before having to dive into this parenting thing. Having to raise a girl was all new territory for him, but he did what he had to do for Steve. He never got married, to a man or a woman, but he had several women friends in his life, and somehow he got by.

The only person Tony had ever found solace in was his best friend, the only one he had after he lost Steve, the one who told him Steve was in love with him in the first place. He wasn't in love with Bruce, and he never could be in love with him, not when he had given his heart to Steve and never wanted it back. And even though he knew how Bruce felt for him, neither of them ever talked about it. Bruce knew where Tony's heart was, and he didn't mind. He was happy with their friendship the way it was. He was still the only one to share his bed.

Today had been the eighteen-year anniversary of the death of Captain America, the one true Captain America, and it had especially been hard on Tony. He'd taken the day off. He hadn't done anything. He hadn't wanted to do anything. Avenger Tower was filled with all those who had loved Steve, from their Avenger friends to the X-Men. Steve had touched a lot of people in his life, from before the serum to the time he had fallen on the steps of the federal courthouse. Even after that, people were still drawn to the man who had been a national hero, despite opposing the SHRA. To some, that made him even more of a hero.

But Tony hadn't wanted anything to do with all of them. He had locked himself up in his penthouse along with no one but Sarah, Steve's daughter - Steve and Tony's daughter. Sharon Carter may have given birth to her, but Tony had always looked at her as though she were his and Steve's. She looked like Steve in every way. Perfect blonde hair, exquisite blue eyes. But her personality was a perfect mix of Steve and Tony's. Tony wanted her to emulate her father as much as possible, but as much as he tried to instill that in her, she still picked up a few of Tony's quirks along the way, much to Tony's dismay and equal amusement.

She was a little over 17 years old, but she was far more advanced than most people her age. Not only did she have Steve's serum-infused DNA, making her literally PERFECT, she was raised by Tony, and he himself was a genius. She picked up on things he taught her easily. She was really smart, on her way to graduating MIT next year, when most people her age were graduating high school. Tony was especially proud of her, and he was especially proud of her on days that were especially hard on him.

She was just like her father. Whenever Tony had had a bad day back before Steve's death, Steve had always been there for him. He silently kept his distance before Tony let him in, letting him hold him in the secure strength of his arms. From the time Sarah was about three years old, she had started holding Tony in her arms. She usually preferred him to hold her as opposed to him holding her, even when she was the one needing the comforting. She was a lot like her father in that way, and Tony would tell her that often.

He didn't hide their relationship from her, nor her father's relationship with Sharon either. He told her they had their relationship, and her father did love Sharon, but he also told her that had the world been more open to men being with men at the time, they would have been together. But he assured her he didn't regret the past. He didn't regret the time Steve spent with Sharon, it had brought Sarah to him. He could never regret that. She was the only thing in his life he had left of his soulmate.

Yes, he had Bucky, Steve's best friend who had become Captain America after Steve died, but they were barely even friends. They only worked together, and shared the love of the first and true Captain America. Then there was Bruce. Tony knew Bruce had a raw deal in all of this. He knew how Bruce felt for him, but Tony couldn't change how he felt. Even now that Steve had been gone for 18 years, he still couldn't stop loving him. But that didn't mean that he didn't love Bruce for being there for him, helping him through the tough times when he just wanted to reach out and hold Steve... only to find him not there.

Tony and Bruce weren't together, not in that sense, even if they were the only ones to share a bed together. Everyone knew the type of arrangement they had, and no one was going to question it. Natasha had been the first to suggest that he move on, and that Bruce would be happy to help him do that, but Tony couldn't do that. He'd made it perfectly clear. Tasha was a skilled super spy, but even she couldn't see Tony's hand before it wrapped around her throat and had her pinned against the wall.

" _Don't you ever say that again! I will never move on."_

And it wasn't as though he was living in the past, refusing to move on, he just didn't want to. He didn't feel like he needed to. He had had the love of his life, and now he was raising his daughter. Now he had a best friend who stood beside him through thick and thin and defended him to the death. He wouldn't give up what he had in Bruce for anything. And Bruce wouldn't sacrifice what he had with Tony for anything either. They were both content for things to be the way they were, never changing a thing.

"I still miss him, Bruce."

Bruce ran his fingers through Tony's hair. "I know."

And Bruce did know. Even more than Sarah, Bruce knew. He was the one that Tony let see his tears. Sarah rarely saw them. He was the one who held him together when he blew his gasket. Tony hated losing it in front of his daughter, and he was grateful it never happened. When you love someone like Tony loved Steve, it's hard to live your life without him. If it hadn't been for having to be there for his daughter, he would have ended it long ago. Not that he would have committed suicide, he just wouldn't have put up much of a fight when he went up against any villains in the past. It wouldn't have been worth it.

"Sarah is a good girl, isn't she?"

Bruce smiled. "She's everything Steve would have wanted her to be. Everything the two of you would have raised her to be together."

Bruce wasn't jealous, not of Steve, in anyway. They had been friends. And he'd hate to admit it, but even he knew if Steve was still here, he and Tony wouldn't have this type of relationship. But that didn't mean he was glad Steve was dead. He missed him as much as anyone. Sure, Bucky was a good Captain America, but he wasn't  _the_  Captain America. He never would be. Everyone knew that. And Bucky didn't even try to be what Steve was. He honored his memory in the best way he could. No one would ever be what Steve was as Captain America.

"I'll be back," Tony said, pushing himself out of the bed and grabbing his boxers, pulling them on, a pair of pajama bottoms out of the drawer, pulling them on, and his tank top, pulling that on as well.

It was well past midnight, closer to three or four in the morning. He probably should have cared a little more, but he needed to feel Steve's presence, and the way he did that was by going to the one place where Steve still existed - in his daughter.

Lightly tapping on her bedroom door, Tony opened, popping his head in. "Sarah"

Sarah lifted her head up off the bed, straining to see her daddy in the silhouette through the light from the hall. "Daddy?"

Tony shut the door, and walked over to her bed. Sliding over, she slid back in her bed so Tony could slide in with her. Instantly, she wrapped her arms around her daddy, kissing the side of his head.

"You ok?"

Tony held her tiny arms against his chest, resting just below his arc reactor. With all the advances in medicine, everyone always suggested Tony get the shrapnel removed from his chest, sure he would survive, doctors were good enough now. But it was something that he and Steve had shared a love for. Sure, Steve probably would have jumped on the bandwagon of getting it removed as well, but as it was, it was something else that connected him to Steve. Steve had loved the orb in the center of Tony's chest, the light that kept the man he loved alive. Tony couldn't remove anything that reminded him of Steve.

"I miss your father."

Sarah closed her eyes, resting her head against her daddy's. "Today was a hard day, wasn't it?" Tony nodded his head and Sarah kissed his head again. "I'm sorry, daddy."

Tony turned, wrapping his arm around his daughter, running his fingers through the long locks at her back. "You made the day better. You always do. I wouldn't have been able to get through the day without you."

Sarah smiled. "Yes, you would have, but I understand. It's ok, daddy. You can miss him. I still do, and I never met him."

"He was perfect, Angel," Tony said, closing his eyes, "and not just because he was Captain America. He was perfect in his heart and in his soul."

"I wouldn't have known him if it hadn't been for you."

Tony smiled. Tony had story upon story to share with his daughter, not only the ones of his own, but the ones his father had told him, the stories Bucky had shared, and the ones Steve had shared with Tony privately. Some of them were the same, but they were all different in their own way. He loved sharing the stories with Sarah. It helped him feel more connected to Steve. It kept him and Sarah close.

Sharing the stories was the only way Sarah was ever going to get to know her father. Sure, she'd been able to google him, could watch videos, see pictures and read articles of him, but it wasn't the same as what she got from Tony and her Uncle Bucky. The other Avengers had their stories as well, even some of the other superheroes had their stories about her father, but it was the ones from Tony that made her feel like she really knew him, made her feel like he was a part of her.

"Daddy," Sarah asked after some time of silence.

She barely got a grunt from him. He was falling asleep, but she wanted to ask him a question. It would probably wake him up, but she wanted to know.

"Would you have married my father if you could have?"

And it did wake him. Tony's eyes opened. It wasn't something that they could have had back then. Over the years, the world public had become more accepting of such things. Hell, even some of the superheroes themselves  _had_  come out of the proverbial closet. Clint and Johnny Storm had been one of the first to come out in the public eye being together. Others had come out as well, and Tony liked to think that sometime he and Steve would have been able to, but he hated thinking about what they could have had, because they never would be able to.

"Yeah."

The answer was simple, but Sarah knew how much was actually behind that word. It made her smile, thinking about what her daddy and father could have had if he had lived. She knew how much they loved each other. She knew how much her daddy missed him, and if Sarah could, she'd bring her father back for her daddy. She loved both of them, even if her father wasn't there with them, she still liked to believe they would have been happy, even after all these years.

She ran her fingers through her daddy's hair, laying her head back into the pillow, yawning. "I love you, daddy."

Tony closed his eyes, resting his head more into his daughter's arm, feeling sleep start to take hold. "I love you, baby girl."

And in Tony's heart, he could hear, " _I love you both..."_  He smiled, knowing Steve still was there with both of them, loving them both.

**Author's Note:**

> I may turn this into a series of one shots, but we'll see. I want to read The Civil War first, and then we'll see. Until then, this is what you've got!


End file.
